face

situasi sekarang tak sama macam dulu.. terkadang terumbang ambing dengan kehidupan aku sendiri. dilema melanda hari hari aku. memikirkan mereka, sigh =,=" penat bila macam ini, if i'll go with the flow, it does not suit me either.

he 1: he loves me,but i am his ex already, but still he miss me as i do, we being friend, but i said to him that i miss him much, there are a lot memory between us, i am not ready to erase him yet.

he 2: he loves me, he cares about me, he is my mum suggestion, but my uncle said that i have to change my attitude, my style of talking, be someone who matured,open minded, because he is open minded too, don't be jealous because of jokes, try to be more humble towards on my fault, he give me space to think and choose. he said he is fine with it.

but still i need time, i love both of them, but he 1 is my precious lover, he 2 is my best to do with hope, i don't to left behind, i want their attention, but i want to be loved. i am not greedy for being loved, i just want to be with they who love n cares about me,

maybe i am young to think all this, maybe i am not good enough to make a decision, maybe i am not matured yet. maybe i am scared to face the situation where they will leave me all alone.

i am scared to all of this, i am afraid to face it.

p/s: YA ALLAH, please show me the way of a good thinking to face all of this situation. amin.